Chili Burger

So, this sandwich is a legitimate gutbomb.  I’m not going to mince words here, folks.  I’ll give it to you straight.  This sandwich is going to make you feel like you want to die…but in a good way!

We decided (wisely, I think) to outsource this sandwich to the professionals at George’s – a neighborhood dive in the truest sense of the word.  Although we are dedicated to the craft of making the world’s finest sandwiches, the necessary work to make this sucker at home is daunting, and likely a bit expensive.

A chili burger is an actual hamburger patty smothered in chili con carne.  It delivers beef directly into your gaping maw via two mechanisms (burger and chili, if you aren’t paying attention).  This sandwich is an exercise in excess.  Now, burgers, on their own, or chili, on its own, are not overwhelming.  But the thought of making both burgers and chili met with a decidedly lazy ‘meh’ and to the dive bar merrily we went!

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We sipped on our beers, listened to jukebox Top 40 hits (not necessarily this year’s hits but hits nonetheless), and took it all in.  Finally, we were served these monstrosities.  There had been some debate as to whether we should share one, but we decided that we must each have our own…for science.  I hate so much to admit this, but that decision may have been a mistake.  I hate even more to admit this…but look how much precious sandwich I left behind on that plate!

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I am so ashamed.

If you are considering purchasing your own chili burger at George’s, here are some lessons learned.

  1. This sandwich is the opposite of Ham Fraud ™, wherein the sandwich maker creates an illusion of more sandwich through deceit and trickery.  To the contrary! This sandwich wants you to have the most of everything! You’ll note first that it is open faced, but then the top bun is cut in half and placed at either end of the burger patty, thus creating the greatest possible surface area for the chili.  This sandwich wants you to get your $7.25 worth.
  2. This sandwich is only $7.25 and could easily supply you with three meals.
  3. You do not need the large tater tots, you jackass.
  4. You also do not need the potato salad. Mainly because it is not very good.
  5. You will have the option of cheese and onions on top and I strongly urge you, in no uncertain terms, to exercise that option.

Do You Immediately Want Another Of This Sandwich?

Guhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

*farts*

That would have to be a no for me this time, friends. I have to admit I enjoyed this less than I thought I would, seeing how much I love both burgers and chili.  The first several bites were satisfying, but in very short order it just became too much.  But, do I think there is something inherently worthwhile about going to a dive bar and ordering a Legitimate Gutbomb ™ just for the hell of it?  Yes, emphatically I do.  So take that for what it’s worth and eat accordingly.  Just don’t say we didn’t warn you.

 

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