The Baked Bean Sandwich

Well, it’s the Baked Bean Sandwich, the most coolly-anticipated sandwich yet.  So cool, in fact, that we postponed this Sandwich not once, but twice.  Her Eminence and I resolved to buy the highest quality baked beans, as the thought of lumps of childhood coagulated cold beans, disregarded on styrofoam plate after plate was enough to turn the stomach of the Vicomtesse.  Not that we have any styrofoam.

To the sandwich!  The organic beans that we did buy were $2.50 for the box and could make three sandwiches.  Economy!  We toasted and spread lots of butter before adding the heated beans.  I initially only put ketchup on half, and after one bite, knew I could not eat this sandwich without ketchup, and added another 200% of what I’d initially spread.


V: Come on, The British (thus far poorly represented on this blog)!  You have to put more than one thing on a sandwich! [ed: apparently, even though the British are fond of beans on toast, this is not, in fact, a British sandwich.  We borfed it on this side of the pond.]  Once again, Portland Ketchup Co has saved the day.

Its fresh sweetness was a great counterweight to the, ahem, pasty-textured beans.  As it would be to any bottom-heavy ingredient.  The very first “flavor profile,” as it were, was the taste of the very good butter (some kind of european style unsalted butter) melted into the toasted Dave’s Killer bread.  Ahh – perfection.  Until the beans hit.  Then… uh, it was regular?  It was just back to regular life, after the island beach vacation of the best kinds of food (I absolutely defend the statement that very good butter on very good bread is some of the best food possible), back to what you nuke for three minutes on your strictly regimented 30m break, before you strap your headset back on and beg people below the poverty line to subscribe to hundreds of dollars’ worth of magazines.*

I’m probably being too hard on this sandwich.  But as I said, after the initial bite where I’d hoped to eat half of it “classically,” that is to say, just beans, and the other half ketchuped (that certainly is not a word), I realized that I couldn’t do it, and slathered the whole mess in ketchup.  Again – this ketchup is really, really good.

No, indeed, The Vicomtesse does not immediately want another.

E: Not as low as my lowest expectations but not as high as my highest hope, the baked bean sandwich is simply “fine.”  It was improved dramatically by ample amounts of ketchup and butter. I do not immediately want another of this sandwich, either.

Ah well.  For Science (TM), we will continue to eat and review ALL of the sandwiches, even the sub-par ones!

*note, please, that this was one of the vicomtesse’s many and splendorous positions, a very long time ago.  oh god.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s